flat sammie's

date: october 28, 2005
bet: will olive call in sick to work tomorrow?
stakes: lunch
winner: olive
loser: mason
destination: flat sammie's (811 north michigan)
cost: $24

olive: so i don't really like taking sick days. in fact, in the almost-two years i've worked at the place that i currently work, i've probably only taken a total of four sick days, and considering the limited vacation time i receive and my propensity for vacation-taking, it's a wonder that i haven't used up more sick days for no good reason.

anyway, it's thursday night. i'm exhausted from the week. but on this particular night, i have one job, and that's to see the new pornographers with my sister and mason and mason's cousin. scratch that, two jobs. see np and get straight folded. about three quarters into the night, it becomes clear that going to work the next morning is going to be near impossible, so i start chattering about how i'm calling in sick the next day. mason, knowing my aversion to taking sick days, was wise enough to challenge my claims. and thus a bet was born. if i called in sick on friday morning, i would be a two-consecutive-bet-winner.

so morning comes and i'm a winner. a week later, we go to flat sammies in the water tower and order piles and piles of food. i got a veggie sub, which came with tomatoes, cheese, cucumbers and avocado (grilled flat). chips and pickle slice accompany. verdict: pretty yummy. they have a do-it-yourself soda fountain, so to accompany my sandwich, i made a mixture of three parts diet coke and one part cherry coke. not too cherry. not too diet. pure genius on my part, but i have to give thanks to flat samuel for providing the means.

our enjoyment of the food was slightly inhibited by the lunchtime piano man. i can't even think of him and his horrible rendition of "don't stop believing" without shuddering, but i'll leave this, and the rest of the food reviewing, to mason.

mason: i know everyone's excited about the sox and all (this lunch took place, i believe, the same day as the parade), but that piano guy was near intolerable. he was one of those piano guys that made little comments in a regular talking voice between verses ranging from brief tidbits about the song's lyrical content to observations about his audience. i can only imagine how annoyed the people sitting right next to the piano must have been. i think i even saw an old lady flick him off.

so music aside, flat sammie's was darn good. i had the sandwich special of the day, called the aunt dolores, which consisted of ham, turkey, tomatoes, mustard and a special garlic sauce that provided its signature taste. we also (over)ordered up a side of mac and cheese and a side of nachos, both of which were insanely good, but led to serious case of overeating on my part.

regarding the bet, i must admit that olive surprised me by actually calling off work. to her credit, she managed to do both her jobs quite well, including getting thoroughly loaded at the new porn show. not wanting her to have to spend the day alone, i also called off work (i know, i know, i am way too nice). the difference with me calling off work is that i've perfected it into somewhat of an art form, and therefore choose to practice my trade way more often than olive. here are a few examples of the more impressive excuses i've used in the past to avoid work:

• locked myself out of my apartment in my pajamas
  
• cat is extremely sick and can't be left alone (i don't have a cat)
  
• i have an extremely debilitating case of tennis elbow
  
• i've broken out in a full body rash as a result of cleaning my tarantula's cage (this actually happened, but it wasn't a full body rash -- more like a few bumps on my hand, but IT COULD HAVE SPREAD)
  
• pink eye (olive was damn surprised when we started dating and she found out this was only a scam -- i managed to cop two days off of this terribly contagious yet utterly fabricated disease)
  

i could go on, but like any good magician, i cannot and will not reveal all of my secrets. oh, but that reminds me, i also once called off work because i couldn't find my bunny (i later realized i left him in my top hat).

on that note, please stay tuned for next week's entry where olive may or may not win her third bet in a row...