cafe nordstrom

date: november 28, 2005
bet: will a late-night, post-thanksgiving-party mason be able to execute a parallel park in (less than) three points?
stakes: lunch
(alleged) winner: mason
(alleged) loser: olive
destination:
cafe nordstrom (55 east grand, third floor)
cost: $28.72

mason: did any of you really think that i would actually lose four bets in a row? i mean not doing the kermit dance in public is one thing, but the thought of actually having to drive olive to whole foods and edmar's and french lessons and that place she gets her hair cut is something entirely different. and never mind the grief that comes with wearing driving hat and gloves and talking all britishish (i wonder if olive would have made me stop brushing my teeth for the week too). and besides, have i ever NOT been able to execute a parallel park in less than three points? hardly. in fact, i think olive would be the first to admit that i'm actually the king of the one-point parallel park, and i added further fuel to my royal fire by winning this bet with a perfectly executed single-point parallel park.

perhaps olive's judgment was a bit clouded by the beverages she had consumed earlier that evening, because, after all, she did allow me to drive part of the way home using the tongs she brought for salad distribution at the party we attended that night. tongs are NOT hands, olive. they're similar, but really quite inferior to good old authentic human paws. they're more like claws, really, though even claws are a bit easier/safer to drive with than tongs.

at any rate, my first win in three bets did not come without controversy. i'm not going to get into it (mainly because i'm sure olive will), but let's just say that the win is in the books (or the blogooks, as it were) and that's all i really care about. i am, after all, a man of science, and therefore live and die by what's in, out, on, under or around the general book vicinity. and no, not that book.

so adhering to the ancient egyptian custom long-considered by bangles everywhere as the undisputed resource for awarding stellar parallel parking, olive provided me with a short trip down michigan avenue (though i'll admit it was verging on magnificence despite its brevity) toward and eventually into the nordstrom building, up the escalator to our immediate right to the third floor, through the women's underwear department of nordstrom-proper (olive did this on purpose) and all the way back to the curiously hidden (and oft-overlooked in favor of the food court) cafe nordstrom.

we were a bit early on this particular day (it was, at the latest, 11:40 in the morn), so we were met with minimal queues (i'm a brit already) as we made a bee-line to the soup section of the cafe's ironically cafeteria-esque ordering mecca. i opted for a bowl of the roasted tomato soup which came with a crusty bread-type item perfect for crumbling and then coercing into what turned out to be a very effective cracker impersonation. positioned quite conveniently next to the soup station, perhaps because of its potential for dipping, was panini city. man, this joint had more paninis to choose from than you can imagine in your wildest panini-infested dreams. the choice was difficult to say the least, but i eventually opted for the ham and swiss variety of pinanner with a tomato alteration (read: addition). olive and i shared a bowl of potato chip/french fry love children that were especially tasty when tormented with ketchup, but they were a bit on the greasy side (as is generally the case with love children). to top it all off, and to be able to officially categorize the consummation of this lunch as a deadly sin, we adorned our tray (yeah, that's right, tray. singular. so what? at least we don't sit on the same side of the booth...) with a chocolate chip cookie roughly six inches in diameter (an aside to HeyZues or whoever's doing the judging these days: the cookie, just like the obligatory tromp through panty pavilion, was olive's idea).

wait, did i forget to mention the pickle? i forgot to mention the pickle. my sandwich came with a pickle and i freaking love pickles (but i do not worship them like false idols or anything). this particular pickle didn't disappoint, though i don't think olive liked the way it was prepared (it was cut horizontally so it resembled something of a tree stump rather than vertically into spears, according to yankee tradition). i, on the other hand, found its odd shape darn refreshing and a perfect compliment to its crunchjuiciful taste.

the sandwich and soup were great too. in fact, i just ate the leftover half of the sandwich as i began typing this entry, so my apologies if i got any on the words. which brings up a good point: if we had leftovers, does this lunch still qualify as gluttonous? which brings up a good question: does god, as my mom says, sign online? and if he does, does he read any good blogs? well if you're reading this, god, please respond. give me a call if you need me to walk you through it (not sure how web-savvy you are).

as i catch my breath and prepare for damnation, i (humbly) turn it over to the O to my M.

olive: mason is a tricky beast. he wants you to like him, so he's acting all innocent over this bet, but that's not how it went down. when we arrived at the potential parking space, mason said, "three point parallel park in this spot," as in this park will require exactly three points. but it only took two, so i thought myself a winner. i admit, i accepted the bet hastily and without clarifying the parameters of mason's statement, but one might reasonably assume that if he had meant "no more than three points" he would have explained it as such. and if that were the case, i surely wouldn't accept such a lame bet. I mean, the boy's damn good at parallel parking. you see? he's tricky. but since i'm not one to make fuss, and considering that mason is most certainly doomed to lose the next bet, i let it slide and assumed the role of loser in this particular round.

at lunch, i ordered a cup of the tomato basil soup, and as mason explained, it was quite delicious. and quite filling -- I only made it about three quarters through. for the main event, i ordered the mediterranean panini featuring grilled artichoke hearts, red bell peppers, red onions, hummus, feta and provalone cheese. this combination of ingredients is hard to screw up, and if you're not in the mood for meat, this pup will do you well. the sandwich itself was quite yummy, though somewhat difficult to eat, as veggie sammiches tend to be with all their slippery and oddly shaped ingredients (does artichoke come in sandwich-friendly form?). it was also quite large. I barely finished one half. though in fairness, i had to leave room for the exceptional cookie (but not quite enough room to finish it).


the cookie was probably the best part of this lunch. soft, chewy, chocolatey. its only downfall was that it didn't come with a glass of icy chilled milk.

also the kind cafe nords staff kept our water glasses full and checked on us often. despite the cafeteria operation they have for ordering, there's a waitstaff buzzing around to do your bidding. i think this place may be a tad overpriced, but it's a worthy lunch destination to boot. plus you can make your lunch partner uncomfortable by dragging them by the lady's unmentionables section.

by the way, mason likes pickles.